A New Era for Couples

A New Era for Couples

Recent years have seen an explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men’s life prospects that have disrupted the “romantic market” in ways that narrow a marriage-minded woman’s options: increasingly, her choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing). 

Kate Bolick

Coupledom has been the dominant form of human relation for thousands of years. So much so, it is considered “traditional,” as in “traditional marriage.” Further, it has been a union formed amid community affirming the utility of dyads – two joined together as one – for a functional social community. Other relations exist. Yet, couples form a bedrock. We see this sanctified, sacralised, and offered as a propitiation to some divine authority in transcendentalist traditions. 

Indeed, we see this formally reflected in globalist or international documents in the United Nations with individual human rights as one form of international human rights and group rights as another. 

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights from the foundation of the United Nations calls the family“the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.” International secular rights consider the family fundamental while transcendentalist traditions consider the family basic too. 

Whether given from the various interpretations of scripture and commands from the divine or negotiated through global human institutions, families, typically dyads, have been considered objectively morally correct or universally ethically right. With the unprecedented, in recent global history, decline of marriage as a stable institution of society, it makes weddings, as celebrations for a future marriage, an inherently unstable prospect. 

One instability emerges from the decline of the “traditional” in the idea of the “traditional role” for males as men and the expansion of possibilities in the concept of the roles for females as women, more side plot expansion for males as women and females as men in advancement of trans rights. 

Men as the breadwinner. Women as the homemaker. Now, women as frowned-upon homemaker and smiled-at-career-creator. Men stuck in a double bind as irrelevant breadwinners or shamed “deadbeats” and “playboys.” Incentives have changed. Institutions need to meet the challenges of this phase of human life. In this scenario, the previous dyadic stability of traditional marriage becomes practically and theoretically unstable with a lack of balance. 

The current generation and the last generation, perhaps the generation before the “last generation,” set forth changes from a society based on families and dyads into one based more on monads, e.g., singles, bachelors, bachelorettes, spinsters, deadbeats, playboys, and so on. 

With this “explosion of male joblessness” and a ‘disruption of the romantic market,’ maybe, we need a new framework. One where marriages change into a dynamic coupling between two souls, as before, while with more constructively expansive possibilities for the duo. 

Something fitting for sophisticated and educated modern women, and men with more time to explore emotional and familial life in new ways. The Monad Era is unstable for community life and children’s lives – the next generation. This is our bestowed curse on some of them for a short time.

Weddings will not go out of style in such a new world, but weddings can match the feel of this new global culture. One of eroded, if not incinerated, traditionalism, and so expanded possibilities in a fresh landscape. Where, couples can explore their love in new and varied ways – making the landscape of weddings and marriage exciting, fun, and full of new hope rather than the dull, banal, echoed claps of a single instrument symphony seen in the transitional today.

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

Author: Scott Douglas Jacobsen